The alarm sounds as I pass through the metal detector. It always does. I've been visiting my brother at Attica every month since he was locked up. What's it been? Six? Seven months, now?
It's always the same guard, too.
Today, there was a woman guard at the security checkpoint, I'm sure of it. We made eye contact and I immediately thought, "Oh, good. It's not that creepy guy." But by the time I signed in and handed over my purse, phone, and keys, he appeared out of nowhere, like he was waiting for me.
He sent the other guards away and tapped something on the side of the device right before I walked through... just like every other time I've been there.
My heart drops as I pass over the threshold and hear the beep. I turn around to go through it again and I distinctly hear him growl under his breath.
This time, he steps right up to the arch of the machine so that when I go through, I have to turn sideways, brushing up against him to pass.
Of course, it beeps again.
With a smile on his face that reminds me of a beast cornering its prey, he says, "Please step to the side, Miss. Hands on the wall." Oh my god. He's going to do a pat down instead of wanding me.
I know I can say "Fuck it" and leave, but I'm the only person my brother has.
My heart is about to beat right out of my chest when we step into an alcove and I place my hands on the cold, grey, cinder block wall. His foot slides between mine from behind making me spread my legs apart, leaning in so that I can feel the fabric of his uniform brushing against my back.
"Wider, Miss," he coos in my ear. I do as he says and position my feet a little more than shoulder-width apart.
"Good girl,” he hums.
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