How I Became A Sex Toy Reviewer

Photo by IFONNX Toys on Unsplash

About a year ago I started writing spicy stories. They’d always been in my brain, but I figured it would be fun to put them out in the world. Not only were these stories fun to write, they were also great foreplay.

When I set out to self-publish, I thought it would be a breeze and everyone would love them. I also thought I was way less vanilla in the bedroom than I soon discovered. After getting on SpicyBookTok and reading some Dark Romance, I realized that I knew very little about the kinky side of life.

While having someone suck the come out of me and spitting it into my mouth, or tying me to a tree and gun-fu(king me may not be my thing, I can appreciate the complexities and allure of such fantasies.

What I had previously considered “erotica” was absolutely NOT.

In this year, I’ve had a sort of ‘awakening’ to the vast spectrum of sex and intimacy and how it can be used to strengthen my relationship with others and with myself.

There is no cookie-cutter way to enjoy sex.

How It Began

From a puberty, I knew what arousal was even though it was never talked about in my religious household. I knew what that wanton feeling was like. The ache between my legs. The all-consuming need to give it what it wanted.

In the security of my bedroom I had a specific pillow that was the exact shape and “hardness” needed to grind into and a stuffed monkey that had a plastic mouth shaped in the perfect way for kissing. When that set-up became too “regular,” I would wrap toilet paper around a round brush, cover it with a ziplock bag and masterbate until my heart was content.

I quickly realized that I enjoyed giving my clit whatever it wanted.

My first real boyfriend, when we would make out, knew exactly where the seam of his jeans needed to be to give me what it wanted, too. It benefited him, of course, also, but I didn’t want to stop until that chill ran up my spine and my brain got all swirly.

As a young woman, I never felt comfortable going into a sex shop or Spencer’s to get a vibrator, so it was amazing when most retail chains started carrying them. It was still a little embarrassing at the registers, but if I went to the self-check-out, it was typically ok. (Unless there was a security tag that needed deactivating)

I had my favorite and she was great for solo play or with a partner. I’d purchased it at one of those Tupperware-style parties during a pre-bachelorette honeymoon fundraiser. It was a jelly-silicone, horseshoe shape with a clit massager in the front. Perfect for grinding… my favorite.

I named her Bunny and she served me well for about three years. Unfortunately, Bunny was lost in a move and I’ve never been able to find another like her. She was perfect and unique and I miss her every day.

So, when I read a Reddit post about becoming a Sex Toy Reviewer I jumped at the opportunity. This was my chance to try out new products and maybe find a suitable replacement for Bunny.

I followed the post’s instructions, and went to a website called Bedbible. I was immediately overwhelmed - in a good way - at their many product reviews and openness about sex-positivity.

I had been writing spice for a few months, and thought I’d follow their link to try to become one of their reviewers. After completing the inquiry form, I honestly forgot about it. I never really thought they’d pick me, but someone reached out and wanted me to do a sample review of my favorite toy.

Of course, I had to do my review on Bunny. Every toy I’ve ever had after her didn’t hold a candle to what she could do to me, so it was easy to pour my heart and soul into that review.

And the rest is history.

The Big Finish

Once I’d proven myself with my review of Bunny, I was given a probationary review. I was able to choose a toy from a short list, they would send me the product, and I would try it out and then upload pictures, descriptions, and my personal experience to the site.

I was super excited and chose a vibrator in an effort to replace Bunny. It arrived, and I had a fun night of trying it with my partner, and then solo. It was a great toy and did the job but it was no Bunny. I knew I had to give up on trying to replace her and just enjoy the effort.

My first few reviews were of various vibrators, then when I mentioned to my rep that I had been experimenting breath play, she started me on some basic BDSM products.

Now, I’ve tried out under mattress restraints, bondage tape, and sensation play products. While not all of them have been my favorite, I’ve really loved testing not only the products, but my boundaries as well. Thankfully I’m with someone I trust and is just as adventurous.

Testing sex toys isn’t all fun and games, though. It takes a lot of focus. When you’re in the middle of sex, it’s not always easy to take mental note of how a product feels on your skin, or how difficult it is to get the placement just right, so you can write about it later. The good news is that it’s mine to keep so I can use it again and again until I have enough to write about.

Not every toy gave me a happy ending, but you know what they say: Practice makes perfect.

Britnee Wild Bedbible