How To Seduce Me

And Other Women Like Me

Photo by Quan Nguyen on Unsplash

My life is an open book. I bare all but my identity on these pages for everyone to see. You know more about me than my family and only slightly less than my partner. The fantasies I create are acted out as inspiration for real life experiences. My past is remembered and comes to life a second time as I write it down for you.

So what do I have to offer that I haven’t shared already?

What is it that you truly want to know?

I was asked recently, “How did your partner get so lucky?” My response was, “I’m the lucky one,” which is the truth, but that isn’t the whole story. We didn’t get here by accident - it took work and time and trust - but it has a common theme… and that’s something I can share.

My partner is an anomaly. A diamond in the rough. The perfect man written in my journal manifested in front of me. All of my pointy edges are made softer with his touch and care. My highs and lows even out through his steady calm.

The way we got here is nothing special but there are some things he did/knew/expressed that won me over that I’ll try to articulate for you. Ironically, the most erotic things we’ve done together have nothing to do with sex but are little things done all day long that build into those explosive moments.

This, by no means, is a research-based study that applies to everyone. It is solely for entertainment purposes but every word is true. If you want to know if these things apply to the person you’re “trying to win over,” it’s worth a conversation or testing my strategies on them to witness the outcome.

Regardless, here are the most proven ways to seduce me and it all stems from Communication.

Everything we do is a form of communication. Words, alone, mean nothing but they are also a vital part of a relationship. Here are the four main ways my partner turns me on through communication.

1. Compliments

   Sincerity is the key to any compliment. It adds a depth to your words and communicates that you’ve taken time to really think about it.

   There’s a reason this is the first thing I listed. If, throughout the day, you see the effort I’m making and compliment or praise it, I will do whatever you want. Your wish will be my command.

   In bed, this can be as simple as saying “I love it when you do that with your tongue” or even a moan, but during everyday life I need it more.

   Complimenting me as a seduction has more to do with praise than anything else. The work I do and how I navigate life takes effort, so noticing the small things and mentioning them goes a long way with me. It makes me feel validated and “seen.”

   It’s amazing how a simple “Your ass looks great in those jeans” comment hits. Not only does it compliment my body, but it acknowledges the hard work I do to keep it looking good and what it does to you as a result.

   But those little comments about simple, normal, insignificant things are the flirtation I crave.

   The hottest thing my partner ever said to me was, “I can’t look at you right now. If I do, I can’t be responsible for what I might do.”

2. Touch

   I’m not a touchy-feely person by nature. PDA isn’t what I want, and even holding hands feels like too much most of the time, but “Non-sexual” touch is a powerful way to communicate when done right.

   The worst part of a past relationship was that he only touched me, put his arm around me, kissed me, etc. when he wanted to fuck. So, any time he made any sort of move I shut down. His touch felt like it had strings.

   My current relationship is all about random touch to establish and maintain our bond. We're smacking asses as we walk by, nuzzling into each other during a hug goodbye for work, and reaching for each other in the dark.

   There’s a reason why so many romance novels have the “He brushed a strand of hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear” moments. It’s so sensual to know that the person you’re with sees even the smallest details about you’re body and can’t NOT touch them.

   I hunger for that kind of connection. It’s hot. And when it happens throughout the day, by nighttime I’m ready to explode.

   The hottest “touch moment” I’ve ever had was when I was getting upset and starting to spin out, my partner came toward me, hands up to cup my cheeks. He pressed his body into me and put his forehead on mine before giving me the softest, most tender kiss to the tip of my nose.

3. Eye Contact

   Have you ever had an entire conversation without words? Looking at someone and using your eyes to tell them exactly what you are thinking?

   Again, in a past relationship, I sat across from my partner at dinner and suddenly realized we hadn’t even looked at each other the whole evening. That was the beginning of the end.

   Looking someone in the eye as if you’re trying to see into their soul and read their fate is a gift, it doesn’t happen very often but is the most intimate experience I’ve ever had.

   Day-to-day, though, a simple Triangle Method every now and then works wonders. I also love when I turn to look at my partner and “catch” him staring at me. God, that’s hot!

   We have a strict no-phones-at-the-table policy but it’s easy to neglect eye contact even when eating together. We use this time to connect while talking about our day, etc. so eye contact has become a “normal” part of our lives.

   My favorite eye contact moment has to be when we were at a co-worker’s get together and I looked over toward the other side of the room where he was chatting with some friends and he was staring at me. It was as if he were waiting for me to look over… willing me to glance toward him. As soon as our eyes met, he smiled, and gave me a wink. So simple but so fucking hot.

4. Action

   That saying “Actions speak louder than words” applies to seduction as well. The small expressions of care done with intent go a long way to communicate with me.

   It may seem silly, but we have a duck… just a small, bathtub, rubber ducky… that we hide around the house for the other person to find. When I find it, I hide it for him to find and so on. It’s something we started about a year ago that just sort of stuck. I found it in my underwear drawer and then hid it in his side of the medicine cabinet and it kept going from there. This insignificant game has us thinking about each other all day long. We wonder where the other person may have hidden it and when we finally find it, we smile at where they chose.

   It can be as simple as writing a note telling me to have a good day, or doing something he knows I’m avoiding/dreading.

   Taking on the household responsibilities, too, show me so much. I don’t feel like I’m expected to be the maid, home manager, mental load carrier alone. I’m not treated like his mother, but that he’s a co-owner of the life we share. I don’t do his laundry, put his dishes in the washer, or pick up his clothes off the floor. That’s his responsibility, not mine, and he respects me enough to be a “big boy” and take care of his own things.

   The most memorable action so far has got to be when he knew I was working hard on a project, recently, and he brought my favorite meal and treat (Sour Patch Kids) up to me in my office because he knows that I forget to eat when I’m hyper-focused. He sat with me for ten minutes while I ate, gave me a kiss, then let me get back to work. I didn’t have to worry about the house being a mess, the animals getting let out and fed, or even that he was feeling neglected.

So, now you know all the ways to get me in bed. Isn’t it interesting that the most “panty melting” things to me are actually mundane?

Sure, all of the examples were from in-the-relationship moments, but how do you think we got there? These were things he innately did. They are a part of his being that fit perfectly with mine.

All of the care he takes every day, all day to show me I’m on his mind and he want’s to take care of me, not just sexually, but every piece of me… even the ones I don’t like… make me melt into his arms.

I’ve had one night stands, and quick fucks that mean nothing. There are times for that. But true intimacy, tenderness, and affection are born from the little things done out of devotion.